Bellingham is young, tall, and strong. He just won his first Champions League, wears the number 10 for England, and is the star of Real Madrid. He is the favorite to win the Ballon d’Or. He is the boy of the moment. The camera loves him. But there is something that I don’t know if I can forgive him for: making it fashionable to wear socks with holes in the back. We have all made questionable aesthetic decisions in our youth. Especially playing football (I once sported a ridiculous nasal strip). But this has to stop. It has gone too far. During the England-Serbia game, we could see several of his teammates, like Saka or Conor Gallagher, wearing socks just like him: torn and holey at the back, ruining England’s impeccable uniform (which is called a uniform for a reason). But they can’t be blamed either. If I had witnessed Bellingham’s evolution over the past three years, from the 2021 Eurocup to the present, I think I wouldn’t hesitate to copy the Birmingham lad in every way possible to try to find the philosopher’s stone, the secret of his success. From warm-up routines to shampoo. But wearing socks with those strange holes, which look like crop circles made by aliens, is hard to see. I would go to war with Jude, but never to buy socks. It’s my red line. It has no scientific basis, it is aesthetically atrocious, and I can’t help but think that a dog was responsible for such destruction. It may be the worst trend since Ronaldo Nazario’s visor-shaped haircut at the World Cup in Korea and Japan. The first person I saw playing with torn socks was Gareth Bale. The purpose, they said, was to relieve pressure in the calf area. The Welshman, who was never known for his brilliant decision-making, got injured so many times that it was almost normal for him to start trusting in these kinds of superstitions and placebos. Desperate times call for desperate measures. The surprising thing in this case is that Adidas has not designed special socks for Bellingham, with a more professional touch. If they made Predator boots with scales to give the ball effect, I don’t think this should be a big challenge for them in the lab. The German brand dedicated a very nice ad to Bellingham for the Eurocup, but then they have him sewing socks in the locker room as if he were in La Retoucherie. I suppose there is also some superstition in him doing the process himself, as was the case with Casillas and his sleeves or Kroos cutting and burning the ends of his laces. Rituals are rituals. The worst part is that in the end he is going to convince me and I am going to end up wearing socks with holes, to decompress the calf. I am too easily influenced. And I really enjoy watching Bellingham play. His football really has no holes.
